COVID-19 Q & A
Ask the Mental Health Experts
How do we avoid lashing out at people we are isolated with?
Everyone may be a little on edge at times – especially these days.
Try to take a deep breath before saying anything.
Try keeping track for a couple days on what exactly is making you feel angry or agitated.
Give yourself some grace – many of us are a little more on edge!
How can I help myself from becoming emotionally isolated or feeling too lonely?
Know that we are all in this struggling to find ways to stay connected and not feel too lonely.
Try to learn the ways YOU feel connected – social media, seeing someone while you talk, phone, etc. If you are doing a lot of Zoom but not really connecting on a more personal level, you may need to try something else.
Schedule calls and make sure others are calling and reaching out to you so its not one-sided.
I’m consumed with anxiety, every morning, every night. How can I wake up not feeling it?
Anxiety during a time like this is very normal.
Try to write down the strength or intensity of anxiety at different times. Its easy to feel like these emotions are strong all the time, but more than likely they come and go, and are at different strengths.
The times that you have higher anxiety, plan to do either an activity that brings you joy, or reach out to someone.
Times that you notice you are not feeling as strong anxiety, note what is going on at that time. It may help you think of things/people/situations you could replicate.
How do I navigate a friend/neighbor/stranger who takes my social distancing personally?
Try communication using an “I feel or it seems statements…for example – I feel like you may think my distance has to do with my feelings for you instead of the recommendations related to COVID.
Reassure your loved ones – “I’m nervous about COVID and want to be very careful. This does not change my feelings for you.”
Advice for young people missing big milestones and how to navigate those feelings:
It is very normal to have strong feelings when you are missing out on something. Things like graduations are important, and feelings of anger, sadness, frustration are all normal. Write down those feelings each day along with how strong they are.
Talk to others going through the same thing. Be open about your feelings. It is better to get them out then hold them inside. Remember the goal is not to “just be happy” but to limit the intensity of emotions.
If you are a parent, it may help to name the feelings your youth may be having. For example, “Its okay to feel angry, sad, frustrated, etc. with not being able to do X…”
You may want to watch our videos on re-training your brain. For example, instead of thinking “my life sucks”, you can work on more helpful thoughts like, “I’m missing out on a lot, but other people are too.”
A friend of mine has been feeling suicidal but I can’t visit them due to the Stay At Home act. What do I do?
This is a very serious issue. First, it is GREAT they told you or you asked to know this.
Call them often and get others to also if you can.
Ask direct questions daily (or many times a day) like “Are you going to kill yourself? Do you have a plan? Do you have the means to the plan?”
Make sure they have hotline numbers to call if they are thinking a lot about killing themselves. Or in our lower resource areas, someone in their community they can trust to call on.
Connect them with a tele-health professional, if one is available.
Is it bad that I’m enjoying this social distancing period?
Nope—many are! It has been for some a time to slow down. You have found ways to stay positive, so keep it up and maybe reach out to others who may not be doing well.
Running low on energy? How do I encourage myself to do work/school when everything feels overwhelming and unsure?
Remind yourself, or learn/re-learn, what it is that makes you motivated. What makes you tick?
Try to nail down what exactly you are struggling with motivation around. This is important because it may be a specific task you are having trouble with, or concentration in general at a time of the day. If it is overall, ask yourself if this is new or something that started before COVID?
Start a journal to write down what you are not motivated to do and what your thoughts are around that. After a few days you may start to see a pattern.
Be patient with yourself—there will be days where there is less motivation.
While I am on quarantine, I think a lot about death and I’m scared.
This is a normal reaction. It is important to know this first. A pandemic brings up the topic of death which is often avoided in society.
Write down your specific thoughts around death. Is it “I am going to die.” Or “There have been so many deaths.” Or maybe wondering “What is it like to die from COVID?” This may help you notice if there is something in particular you are worried or thinking about.
Reach out to someone close to you and tell them you are thinking a lot about death. You may be surprised to hear that others are also.
Try watching one of our re-training the brain videos. This may help you come up with slightly more helpful thoughts around death.
We have all been reading and hearing it is so important for our mental well-being to stay connected during these times, but many people are beginning to experience “Zoom fatigue,” how do you recommend people address that?
It is easy to get fatigues at anything we do too much! Again, know that this is normal.
Try to problem solve with teams if there are times when it can just be phone, or another means to keep track of things.
Take some time to dig deeper into this – is it a particular time of day, all the time, only work calls…etc. In other words, you may actually be fatigued in general or with work/school only and still be good with friends on zoom.
Given the various circumstances different people across different team’s may be in mentally, what are things we should be sensitive to now more than ever as colleagues?
Very insightful question! This is where emotional intelligence comes in – one of my favorite topics. First, try to keep a gauge on where your thoughts/emotions are. That allows you to more accurately read and work with others.
People are always going to have their own thoughts, feelings, situations, perspectives, etc. One re-frame or re-training of the brain may be “I am having trouble making sense of her viewpoint or situation but I appreciate that we all have unique ones.” Even this simple re-frame will allow you to have empathy for others’ experiences.
Be curious and ask! – with empathy of course. The truth is we don’t always know what others are going through so ask and know that all experiences are different—and in a pandemic like this ever-changing.
How can we support colleagues who are sheltering on their own?
This depends a little on how well you know them. Remember that everyone is in a different situation. One person may enjoying the peace, and/or have a lot of other connections. Others may want zoom, telephone, or even a nice delivery of food.
One of the things we hear a lot from those on their own is craving to speak to someone else. You might say that to normalize that and ask if you can call them X times a week and when might be good.
Depending on the phase of COVID-19, some may be able to go for a walk outside at some distance with masks on – or speak to that person from outside the house.
Another idea is to send a card in the mail, or email, or drop off a delivery just to let them know you are thinking of them.
How can we best support friends/colleagues who may be caring for a loved one who has COVID-19?
This depends on the situation and context a bit, for example how sick the person is, if there is family around, what stressors the colleagues/friends have, etc.
Ask about what they could use that would be helpful. Some ideas are delivery of wipes/masks as these individuals are usually constantly cleaning. Send encouraging notes because the fear/anxiety usually increases when in this situation. If you are in a place to help with family members (kids), or dinners to ease other tasks that may be helpful.
For yourself, it is also important to write down your thoughts and feelings about this. When we start having those close to us going through COVID, we also may think/feel differently and it is helpful to acknowledge that.
Have a question for Dr. Murray or the CETA team?
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